Hi World, I have a question for you: How do you pick your friends? Do they have to listen to the same music you like? Do they have to have the same faith as you? Do they have to be around the same age? Do they have to have the same level of education, the same color, the same sex, the same sexual orientation, the same economic level? Now, I understand the saying that goes "like attracts like." However, I would like to suggest the possibility that that saying is a reality only when we are not thinking, and when we are just responding to our old memory patterns.
Let's assume that you are aware of the fears you harbor about certain kinds of people in the world, which manifests as animosity of varying degrees. Or, you just get that uneasy feeling inside when you see them on the street. What if you're a macho type male and you feel animosity towards gay guys? Here's another example: maybe you're a devout evangelical Christian woman and you get that uneasy feeling when you see a Muslim woman in her hijab. Or, maybe you're an older white woman riding the bus to work and three big black guys board the bus, and you feel the fear. Or, maybe you're a healthy teenager at Border's bookstore listening to music and a mentally handicapped teenager wheels his wheelchair up to you and says "Hi." Let's say you're contemplating the idea that we are all connected by an unseen force, and you want to overcome those fears. How can we overcome them? I'd like to suggest that it only takes one. One friend. One gay friend, one Muslim friend, one Christian friend, one black friend, one white friend, one handicapped friend, to clear away the cobwebs of fear that dehumanizes whole populations of people in our minds. I challenge you: pick a friend, but not just any friend.
Now, lest anyone say to me "practice what your preach", I'll put my money where my mouth is. In all my life, I've never met a native middle eastern Muslim woman who wears a hijab. But I'd like to. I'd like to meet one who is a mother, grandmother and compare notes to see if we have the same concerns, the same love for God, the same dreams for our children. I'll bet we do. If you're a Muslim woman reading this blog, or if you know someone who is, and would like to befriend a Catholic Christian woman, live in the greater Kansas City area and speak English, email me and we'll get together for coffee, tea, or anything else you drink. It would be really cool if you're a writer, but not necessary.
I understand the older white lady on the bus will not want to befriend a young black man. But she could befriend the black lady down the street or down the hall. That black lady has a family that includes good, decent, black males. And to the teenager who is afraid of handicapped people, you'll find that sometimes they just want to be affirmed as part of the human race. You have it in you to do that. Fears don't go away on their own. They have to be confronted head on. Don't let fear rob you of opportunities to connect with your fellow man. Who knows, you just may meet you next best friend.
