SimsWorld

My Father's Toolbox

When I brought home the new vacuum cleaner yesterday, I was in for a big disappointment upon opening the box. I had been flushed with excitement at the prospect of putting its pieces together. I had my big yellow toolbox beside me on the floor, open and ready to yield the right tool for any complicated maneuver required to complete the task. Alas, it only required one lone Phillips screw driver. Some people might have let forth a sigh of relief, but I closed my beloved tool box with sadness. Some of my fondest childhood memories was of watching my dad take things apart and fix them. I guess I get my love of tools and the magic they do from him.

One scenario that both he and I enjoyed was putting together bookcases that come in a box. I've done this several times in my life and the task brings such a feeling of satisfaction. Unless, of course, the whole thing can be put together with one of those evil little L-shaped generic tools that comes with it. While I still got the satisfaction of putting something together, still it was not the same without the blessed sound of rummaging through the old tool box. When my dad passed away in 1995 at the age of 88, I gave his old tool box to my daughter who by that time had developed her own love of tools.

At some point in my Christian walk, I came to realize the similarity of some tools with ways that God gets through to us by His spirit and His Word. Some scriptures in the Bible are multifaceted, teaching us on different levels. I would liken this aspect to the different kind of screw drivers. There are the longer ones to reach way down into something, and there are the short ones that are used for shallow surfaces. Of course, the purpose of a screw driver is to turn a screw. The screw can be likened to a God concept, such as love, forgiveness, and redemption. Take forgiveness, for example. A baby Christian is told that God has forgiven him his sins. That is a simple screw needing a short flat driver . But as the Christian grows in his spiritual walk, his understanding of forgiveness expands to forgiving others which is a screw that requires a long Phillips driver that reaches further into our soul.

One part of his tool box that my dad was particularly proud of was where he kept his assortment of screws and nails. If mom needed something hung on the wall, he would rummage until he found just the right nail. If a nail was needed for something heavy, he would pound a large nail into a wall stud with his big heavy hammer. For a light object he would drive a brad with his smaller lightweight hammer., using the right tool for the right job. Our heavenly Father does the same thing when we listen to His voice through our spirit. God teaches us daily with the various situation in our lives. And sometimes He uses other people in our lives to drive home His truths. Of course, He also uses people to smooth out the rough places, like sandpaper, another important tool in any toolbox.

Another tool that I prize in my tool box is my retractable tape measure. Our eyes can deceive us. We always need to “size up” a job with a tape measure to know the true size of the situation. Without a good measuring tool, we will invariably be “off”. Likewise, on our spiritual journey, if we turn to God's leading, He is faithful to help us see the true nature of our current situation. He will also show us our motives so that we can allow Him to make adjustments in our perception and see the world through His eyes. His standards are always the “true measure” of things. Hammers, screwdrivers, nails and screws, sand paper, and a measuring tape, they all are essentials for any tool box. What about wrenches? I'll save that for one of my more “gut-wrenching” blogs.

 

One Heart, One Mind, One Planet

Shoppers stop in their tracks in shock as a moose wanders into a shopping mall. A bear attacks several campers at a popular national park. A six foot shark swims up on a Jersey beach just long enough to scare a few hundred people, then turns around and swims back to sea. What is going on? Are the animals trying to tell us something? Maybe they sense that a great number of humans understand the inter-connectedness of the planet, and are trying to communicate to us their dis-ease with the current state of the environment. Maybe they innately know that we humans are the ones with the power to change things for the better.

If all of nature could speak with one voice, would it pose a question to us asking, "How much worse does it have to get before you do something about it?" At this point, all of humanity cannot speak with one voice. Several major factions would attempt a response, however. The Christians would say "Just hold on a little longer because Jesus is coming back soon, and He will wave His hands and instantly everything will be perfect." The scientific community and environmentalists would say "It took nearly three hundred years for things to get this bad, starting with the Industrial Revolution, so it will take at least another three hundred years for us to turn the situation around."

We don't have another three hundred years. So, how do we save the planet and ourselves from environmental destruction and possible annihilation? I've always believed in killing two birds with one stone. Please forgive my use of a very bad pun, but in this case a little irony is called for. First thing we humans need to do is to stop asking "The Almighty" to come to our rescue. We need to move on from our adolescence and realize that "Our Father" has placed in us all the wherewithal to co-create a better world for ourselves. If we are the children of divinity, then we must be divine. Then, we need to stop fighting like children competing for "Our Father's" attention. The three major religious groups on this planet are especially bad about thinking they are the Father's favorite and everyone else is on the outside looking in.

As soon as we realize that we are all one family, we can stop fighting, hug each other, and say we're sorry. Then, we will look around and see what a mess we've created. At that point, we will grow up, or move into the evolutionary status of "One mind, One heart, One planet." The Evangelicals have coined a phrase from a scripture in Deuteronomy, "If one can put a thousand to flight, two can put ten thousand to flight," expressing the power of agreement. In light of that, another question arises. If every adult on the planet were of one mind, with a unified intention to clean up the planet, do you think it would take three hundred years? I don't think so. I think it could happen very quickly. I believe it is a matter of our moving out of our evolutionary status as adolescents. We are about to grow up and our planet is about to make a quantum leap in conscious awareness that may very well bring us all back from the brink of annihilation. 

Out of the Cocoon

In two weeks it will be one year since I posted the blog entry “Thoughts of a Caterpillar” At the time I wrote it, it was just another wonderful burst of creativity leaping from the depths of my being onto the paper. Now, a year later, the true meaning of that piece of writing has visited me with such a clarity and resonance that it takes my breath away. “Thoughts of a Caterpillar” is my own story. I was the caterpillar. Now I am a butterfly, ready to spread my wings and fly. The process by which a caterpillar undergoes a complete body change to become a butterfly is an amazing one that I won't expound on this post. However, it is a story that we humans are drawn to because of the tremendous hope that it offers. Our lives sometimes appear to be insignificant and small, but somewhere within our soul we hear soft whispers of “there's more to you than meets the eye.” We feel the urge to look within and discover our full potential and our true identity. Then, just like the caterpillar, we grow too large for our former paradigm and, shedding our past, we build a new context in which to live, where we continue to grow some more.

The caterpillar sheds it's skin five times before moving into the cocoon for the final metamorphosis. Somewhere in the genes of the caterpillar is the built-in time schedule for it's process. How do we humans know when it's time to “get serious”, “get a life”, or “dance the dance”? We too have a divine time piece hidden deep in our psyches that lets us know. I like to think of it as the “Divine Urge” The divine urge is a result of knowing our divinity and remembering who we really are. If you think of yourself as a lowly creature of the dust, you will never expect anything of yourself more than crawling around in the dirt. But if you're aware of your divine heritage as a child of God, then you will hold yourself erect, walking proudly as royalty. The most telling clue, however, is you will have those divine urges; the urge to love more deeply, to give more generously, to act, well, more divine. And it's not something we try to do. If you try to act divine, you are not responding to your innate knowing of who you are, but who you would like to be.

 I'm going to ask you to take a big leap in imagination with me and try to envision something. What if the whole planet were a caterpillar? What if mankind has gone through about the same amount of skin shedding as the caterpillar (evolutionary processes), and is in the final stage of cocoon life? What if all the wars, killings,natural disasters, starvation, genocides, pestulances, and discontent, is merely the violent shaking of the cocoon? When mankind finally emerges from the cocoon, and sees himself as the brilliant, magnificent creature that had the markings of divinity all along, the very expression of God, then the world will be as it was meant to be, a place of wholeness, love, peace, joy and abundance for all. If this scenario were true, what should our actions be? What should our responsibility be? I believe the answer is to envision the final outcome. Without a vision, the people perish.

Our Ever Present God

A dear friend of mine recently relayed the harrowing details of his heart attack. He is a lifelong Christian whose journey could best be described as rich and varied. After arriving at the emergency room of the hospital, the doctors told him he was dying and they were doing all they could to save him. With this in mind, my friend began to look for some kind of spiritual experience, or even a near death experience. As a Christian, he had come to believe, and had every reason to expect to feel the presence of God. Surely the Holy Spirit would show up to comfort him, to ease his fear, or to at least remind him that indeed he was in God's hands. God never showed up.

Obviously, my friend survived to tell the story and promptly went into depression. Where had God been? Or had God been there in some unrecognizable form? Nevertheless, my friend came away with a profound sense of abandonment. I believe my friend's experience was similar to what Jesus experienced when he cried out "My god, my god, why hast thou forsaken me?" as He hung on the cross. Both experienced the absence of God's presence at a time when it would have been nice to have some comfort.

The Bible says "In Him we live, move, and have our being." If this is true, then we are never separated from God. Everything we experience, God is experiencing. God is not watching from a distance, He is going through what we are going through. Now when Jesus died, I imagine that God grew very still, as did the host of heaven, as Jesus submitted to his fate through his own will. The greatest gift God has given us is our free will. Jesus had known most of his life that his life would end in violence. However, his message was more important than preserving his life. I believe that God was feeling the agony and suffering of His son. Because of God's great love (for God is love), He would never have intervened to prevent Jesus from fulfilling his mission. Instead, God joined in solidarity and unity with his beloved son as he died on the cross. From Jesus' vantage point, he could not feel the Father's presence.

Perhaps God was right there with my friend as he was having a heart attack, not comforting or speaking to him, as my friend was expecting, but joining him in solidarity throughout the whole ordeal. Put another way, God was not comforting my friend as if He were on the outside looking down, but God was busy having a heart attack.

When we suffer pain, our loved ones can hold our hand and try to comfort us. But they can never reside us in like God can, actually experiencing our suffering right along with us. God never deserted Jesus, nor did He desert my friend. We are never alone in our sufferings, for God is closer than we could ever imagine.

My Take On Health Care Reform (so far)

I'm still not resolved on the issue at hand (health care reform). I can understand the fears of the people. I don't think we've had such a progressive president in such a long time that the people are feeling the rocking of the boat, and it's frightening them. On the other hand, change has been needed for a long time. So, we need these progressive moves if we are to further the cause of the brotherhood of man. The Ultra conservatives want to continue dualistic practices to further their own agenda of the haves vs. the have-nots, the Jews vs. the Arabs, the Christians vs. the non christian, and so on and so forth.

Maybe the answer lies not so much in government intervention, as it does in the health care providers (doctors, hospitals, and pharmaceutical companies) willingness to forgo the bottom line enough to show compassion and mercy towards those who have no means to pay for their services. Of course, this would piss off the insurance companies, who I suspect are the real culprits in this matter. Should then, however, the government further regulate the insurance companies? Probably not. I'm sure there are already some regulations in place to protect the consumer. With the consumer already up in arms about the situation, they wouldn't like that either.

Has the government (with Obama at the helm) awakened a sleeping giant here? By the time it's all over, maybe Obama will be sorry he ever brought it to the table. It will be interesting to see who comes out on top.

Thoughts of a Caterpiller

   

     It's warmer than usual now.  Most of my life in this cocoon, it has been pleasantly cool.  Cool and dark.  And comfortable, for the most part.  Once in while I can feel my home sort of sway back and forth.  Those are the times I feel afraid.  I've never been able to understand what those occurrences are.  Just when I become overwhelmed by fear, the movement will suddenly stop.  Then everything is the same as before, cool and dark, nice and safe.  I just know that my Creator has once again come to my rescue.  Yes, I have a Creator and He loves me and keeps me safe in my little cocoon  Or is it a big cocoon?  Who's to know?  Once in a while my Creator will speak to me.  He has assured me that He has created me with special care and has placed me inside this wonderfully comfortable place that he calls a cocoon  
     

    I  have concluded that He must love me very much to go to all the trouble to keep me safe.  Sometimes I wonder what He is keeping me safe from.  Who's to say?  I figure if He is the Creator, then He must know all there is to know about me and my cocoon.  Recently, however, I've had some troubling thoughts.  I've had some questions, you know?  Like, am I the only one in a cocoon?  I know that I'm the only caterpillar in THIS cocoon, but are there other caterpillars in their own cocoons somewhere?  I wonder what it would be like to be with another caterpillar  It's those times when I feel most lonely.  Don't get me wrong, I've always been happy with things as they are.  It's just that recently I've had another question.  I'm wondering what my purpose is.  Why did the Creator create me to live in a cocoon, never to know anything else?  Ah, there is another question:  why do I wish to know anything else?  Why aren't I happy just to live here in my nice, dark, and safe cocoon?  What is wrong with me, don't I trust my Creator?  (Sigh) Who's to say?

      My cocoon is starting to feel smaller.  I don't know if it has shrunk or if I have gotten bigger.  I hardly have any room to move.  I shift and I shift, and I still can't manage to get comfortable.  And to make matters worse, the shaking and swaying is happening more frequently.  Things feel so uncertain.  Sometimes I fall asleep shaking with fear.  Why doesn't the Creator make it stop?  Where is He?  I feel so alone!  Then suddenly I hear his voice saying “Fear not, little one.  Everything will be fine.  You are just experiencing some turbulence because your life is about to change.”  When I fearfully ask if my life is about to end, my Creator begins to laugh and says “Why no, for you've hardly begun to live!” He then goes on to explain.  “Very shortly you will begin to see something new called light.  Do not be afraid, for light is good, very good.  Once you've grown used to the light, you'll never want to be in darkness again.”                         

    “But kind Creator, darkness is all that I've ever known.”  I meekly suggest.  “That's alright”, his voice is so gentle. “It was merely preparation for the light.  I've been hearing the questions of your heart, and now is the time to answer some of them.”  His words seem to wrap themselves around me and I feel such love and comfort.   “On the outside of your cocoon is a whole world you know nothing of.  It was created for you and all other creatures to share and care for.  When you leave this cocoon, and yes, you will leave, you will be transformed into a creature of great beauty and purpose.”  I thought to myself  He really heard my heart's cry!  He continued.  “On that day, you will have a new name; you will be called 'butterfly'.  I asked him what that name meant and he laughed as he said “It's rather complicated, but it has something to do with flying.”   I began to quiver and shake with fear at this new revelation.  He spoke once more to say “Be not afraid, I will be with you even unto the end of the world.”   Once again, I was alone in my cocoon   All I could think was “When will this happen and what, oh what is 'flying'? 

 
     As I lay here pondering all the Creator has said, there is a violent shaking of my cocoon, like nothing I have ever felt.  Now an amazing thing is happening.  That thing called light is beginning to come in as my cocoon begins to crack.  At first they are big rays pouring in through the cracks.  They are so bright, I can hardly bear it.  In a moment of panic, I realize that my cocoon is beginning to fall away from me and I am being enveloped by the light.  I grasp something the cocoon has been attached to just in time, as my little home floats gently way from me.  Then I feel the puffs of air that must have been what had swayed my cocoon  These puffs of air are becoming a mighty force that swirls around me.  My eyes begin to adjust to the light and I look down at myself with such astonishment.  I can hardly believe it is me!  Now I can feel the mighty wind push up under some new parts of me I didn't know I had.  I ask myself “what is happening?”  I let go of the branch as my new wings move with the wind.  I know what this is!.  I am flying! 

Are You Living in The Prophetic?

It's kind of scary to begin to walk in a spiritual gift given to you by God.  I suppose it can be likened to Peter's walk on water.  It is very exciting at the same time it is humbling and frightening.  I've know for many years that I was given a prophetic gift.  Through the years I've operated in this gift occasionally, but always from hindsight, realizing it from an after-the-fact perspective.  Recently, I have begun to speak into the lives of some of my friends.  I found that all I have to do is be willing and open my mouth.  The Holy Spirit takes if from there, giving me boldness and authority.

I have a friend named Mary.  A few years ago, Mary came out of a very dark place in her life.  The Lord rescued her from an extremely abusive relationship that would have resulted in her death, had she not heeded the Holy Spirit's prompting.  In the nick of time she was given an opportunity to rent a beautiful condo in a nice neighborhood for a reasonable amount of rent.  What happened for a number of months after she moved in was amazing.  She began decorating her new place with a certain color theme.  I was there when these ideas started coming to her.  In a matter of weeks Mary had transformed that plain condo into a place of beauty, a haven of peace and tranquility. Everything she brought in matched with the central color scheme right down to the bathroom toiletries. We laughed how God had been her interior decorator. 

Two dayago I was at Mary's for lunch when I realized her place was like a walled garden.  The Song of Songs came to my mind.  That's when I spoke into her life.  I told her that her life in her condo is a living prophecy concerning not only her life, but the life of the church. Mary has been praying for God send His man for her into her life.  She has prayed for several years now that the Lord would prepare her heart for such an event.  About a month ago, Mary told me that sometimes she grows weary with waiting.  The Bride of Christ today is groaning and travailing, and weeping in the garden, for the Bridegroom.  "How much longer, Lord? How much longer?" Mary is a living prophecy, or picture of the Church's heart cry. 

Mary and I rejoiced in awe over God's word for her.  Just as the special man God has promised Mary is right around the corner, so is our Beloved, the Bridegroom, is right around the corner.  In the next blog I will share what the Lord has revealed to me about my own life. For now, why not pray and ask God to help you walk in the spiritual gifts He has given you.

Catching Flack and Hearing Complaints

Alright already!  I've been catching some flack from my friends because I haven't blogged since February.  What can I say?  Life happens.  What better come back subject to write about than my recent leap into the hearing world.  It's not that I couldn't hear anything before, it's just that I heard very little.  I have worn hearing aids since I was eleven years old.  That, plus my expert lip reading ability, allowed me to get by, just barely.  Just enough to keep me from being part of the deaf community.  Not that I'm complaining.  Struggling to function in the hearing community has honed my skills of overcoming obstacles.  I'm an over-comer, a compensator. 

On July 1st I had cochlear implant surgery on my left ear.  On July 14th it was activated.  Though the whole acclimation process will take over a month, the immediate benefits were obvious.  For those of you who don't know how a cochlear implant works, here is a short form.  During surgery, the surgeon makes an incision behind the ear.  He then "threads" an electronic, plastic coated wire with many electrodes into the cochlea which is very much like a spiral shell.  He then places the internal processing device under the scalp, behind the ear, about half way between the ear and top of the head.  There is metal in this part because the processor that is worn externally, and sits on top of the ear much like a hearing aid, has a cap that has a magnet in it.  This connects the two parts of the processors.  That's basically how it works. 

Now, back to it's immediate benefits.  The first day I was activated I was able to hear the car shifting gears as we drove home.  While cooking breakfast, cracking the eggs on the side of the bowl sounded really loud.  I could hear the bacon sizzling in the frying pan, but more amazingly, I could hear the paper towel sliding on the counter as I moved it.  I could hear my husband running water in the bathroom on the other side of the apartment.  All these sounds people with normal hearing take for granted, I was discovering for the first time.  What a joy!

As I said before, the acclimation process will take at least a month.  Voices are not yet sounding normal.  You have to remember that the sound I am hearing is electronically produced sound, not amplification of normal sound.  It actually feels like I am hearing on two different levels.  I'm hearing the bionic sound, and at this point, frankly everyone sounds like a robot.  But the brain is an amazing creation of God, because it remembers what the amplified normal voice sounds like, so I can "hear" the memory.  Everyday, the two get closer and closer to the one phenomenon. 

I have been given "homework" to do in between appointments to make further computerized adjustments.  It all has to do with word recognition.  I'm to respond to a coach who says words or sentences.  The company I chose to purchase the processor from, Advanced Bionics, has a wonderful website where I can get involved with a myriad of exercises.  The on-line support is amazing, even providing an on-line community I can be a part of. 

As I go through this process, I will keep you all informed as to the improvements, plus the emotional ramifications of becoming a "hearing" person.  I just bought a new coffee cup yesterday.  It says "just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly".  That's me.  I can hear, I can "fly"!  Excuse me while I go listen to some roses breathe.

Feelings and Time

    This blog post may sound a bit convoluted, so bear with me.  I think I'm trying to tie two ends together to make one string, so to speak.  First off, I've experienced some awareness shifts or odd feelings since President Obama came to office.  I really believe we are all connected, so I tend to sense change in the air.  This change I'm sensing could be that the spirit of the whole African-American population in the states has been elevated.  There has been a paradigm shift in their way of seeing their race.  I've always believed that there has been a 'cloud of oppression' hovering over the black people of America.  It could be that this cloud is lifting or has been lifted.  This in turn has lifted the spirit of the entire planet.  It can never be emphasized too much that Barack Obama is at the right place at the right time.  A man whose time has come.  A nation whose time has come.  When there is peace in the Middle East, when the Arabs and the Jews embrace as the brothers they are, there will be a quantum leap in consciousness, and we will have arrived. A planet whose time has come.

    The other string amounts to this:  the days have been shortened.  My parents used to talk about how time goes by faster when you get older.  Now that I'm older, I've found this to be true.  However, I think there is something else afoot.  The end of time.  I've noticed lately that my childhood memories have been more present with me. In other words, they are more real.  And when I think of 2010 or 2011, they feel near to me also, like 2010 is tomorrow and 2011 is the next day.  Imagine with me, if you can, me standing on a pedestal in "space".  I've halted in my linear progression through time.  I'm facing forward, facing you.  My past comes toward me from my right.  My future comes to me on my left.  I'm no longer going from day to day, or month to month.   I stand still and the experiences yet to happen come to me and blend in with my past experiences.  That's the best way I can think of to comprehend the world with no time.  I think Einstein said something about time being relative to space.  So, how would the end of linear time affect space?  It would probably add another dimension.  So here's where you can tell I'm no physicist or scientist.  If you can think of a better way to express what I'm trying to say, please help me out.

Writer's Block

How can we overcome writer's block?  I suppose by WRITING about it.  I've been in a writer's block for about two weeks now.  There are only a few causes of writer's block that I've experienced.  One, is the fear that once I set out to write, that the words won't come.  This block is the one I've experienced the most.  The second cause is new to me, but nonetheless, a menace.  It starts out as a single emotion; the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're not really as talented as you thought you were.  This is followed by a brief time of refusing to even think about writing.  Then, out of fear of losing your writing mojo, you force yourself to think about writing again.  Here is a short list of thoughts that bombard your mind.

1.  You don't have the fortitude or discipline to support a writing career.

2.  No one takes your writing seriously, not your even your mate.

3.  Your family and friends won't approve of the principles or stance you are trying to promote through your writing. (they'll think you're nuts)

4.  There are too many people out there just like you, trying to get published.

5.  Someone else has already thought of your idea, and will either get it out there before you, or they've already been published.

The funny thing about me is, it's usually some kind of emotional trauma that get's me writing again.  I suppose that instead moping around crying and raging, I choose to let it out through my writing.  Then, before I know it, I'm so hyped up about my writing, that I can't remember why I was so upset.  It will all work out, right?  In the meantime, I'll write one more paragraph....

I hope this has helped someone.  Happy writing!